As we (should) all know, Australia is a land of genii (plural for genius and pronounced jee-nee-ahy).
Over the past century, we have produced some of the most wonderful inventions known to man and woman kind.
Just recently, an article was published in America, bestowing accolades on the wonderful invention of the amazing squeezy sauce packet. This wonderful invention allows pie eaters (sniggering quietly in the background) to apply tomato sauce by just squeezing the sauce filled packet over a meat pie or eggs?? ( more sniggering). See below.
How wonderful and world changing is this?
Other, less important, inventions by amazing Australians are listed below.
The Cork Hat.
Used in areas where the flies are that bad that continuously waving ones arms around, ( also known as the Australian salute) just gets too exhausting. Not sure where the corks are found as the wearers of such hats would usually not touch anything else than beer and even if they did drink wine it would more likely be the cask variety like Chateau Migraine than a decent bottle with a real cork. Sadly real corks rarely exist anymore, so aluminium screw on lids are used, resulting in serious eye injury. Still a good invention, though.
The Esky
Portable insulated box to carry beer around while keeping it cold, invented in the 1950s, originally of metal and later of plastic, can also be used to sit on. Standard equipment in any Australian household. In USA known as cooler or in New Zealand known as chully bun (chilly bin in English).
The Hills Hoist
Adelaide car mechanic Lance Hill had a brilliant idea in 1946 and came up with a clothes line that was so practical and user friendly that every Australian wanted one and in the next 50 years his factory produced one million of them and made him a multi-millionaire. Next to the barbeque this is standard equipment for every Aussie back yard. Another important benefit is the addition of bird shit to the pattern on you drying clothes.
The Goon Bag
In 1967 Thomas Angove came up with an alternative to the wine bottle; a plastic bag inside a cardboard box and a tap instead off a cork so you have no worries looking for a corkscrew. A hugely popular invention. Can also be recylced into a pillow when you are finished with the wine, simply place your mouth around the tap and inflate to desired size. Tip; to get the last bit of wine out of the cask rip open box, take out bag, inflate a little by blowing air in, and then pour wine out.
Best used when you are already half pissed, because the quality is just a tad suspect.
So, as you can see, Australian inventors are leading the world. So, all is as it should be.
Some other minor Australian inventions include,
Wi-Fi
Ultrasound
Vegemite
Victorian Bitter
The electric power drill
Ugg boots
The power lawn mower
The panel van. responsible for 50% of Australian conceptions.
The pacemaker
This all says how amazing our inventors are.
Happy Australia Day.
Happy Australia Day.
