Weirdos In The Aisles

Time for a well deserved rant.

I work in retail, where customer service is the most important part of the job. Or it's supposed to be. However, this can be very difficult, when you work in a predominately low socioeconomic area with a large recent immigrant population.

Most of the people I work with handle the language, accent, bad manners and cultural differences of our customers really well, but occasionally we are tested to our limits.

Typical conversations can go like this.

Customer. "I'm looking for a little twisty thing to fit my car's music thingy. Can you show me where it is?"
Me. "Umm, could you describe what the twisty thing looks like and what it does?"
Customer. "It looks like a twisty thing and it twists."
Me. "I'm sorry, but I'm having a bit of difficulty trying to understand what it looks like. Do you have a photo of it or can you draw it for me?"
Customer."Do I look like a bloody artist or photographer to you? Just tell me where I can find it!"
Me. "I'm sorry, sir, but I'm pretty sure that we're out of stock of twisty things at the moment. You could try Googling "twisty thing" and see who stocks it locally,"
Customer. "You're f------g useless! I'm never coming back here!"
Me, to myself, "Thank God for that."

Customer. "I want to make a coffee table. Can you tell me what I need and show me how to do it?"
Me. "I'll certainly try. Please tell me what size table you want to build."
Customer, waving his arms around like a Banshee, "It's about this wide and this long."
Me. "How high do you want it to be?"
Customer. "High? What do you mean high?"
Me. "How high do you want the table to be off the floor?"
Customer. "Are you stupid? I want it to be on the floor, not hanging from the ceiling!"
Me. "OK, I understand. What timber would you like to use?"
Customer. "No, not timber. I want to use wood!"
Me. "Sorry, my mistake. What wood do you want to use?"
Customer. "What's the cheapest?"
Me. "I'd recommend radiata pine."
Customer. "How much will it cost me?"
Me. "About $..."
Customer. "Can I make any cheaper?"
Me. "Not if you want it to look good and last a long time."
Customer. "OK, I'll check with the store down the road. If you're the cheapest, maybe I'll come back."
Me, under my breath, "Don't hurry."

Add the aforementioned language, accent and cultural differences and you can image why I'm rapidly developing a drinking problem.