A quick rundown.
Joyce separates from his wife, falls in lust and becomes a prospective father, again. This is simply horrifying! Never before has a man done this! Thinking about this unthinkable action could cause mass affairs, divorces, tattoos and self harm mutilations throughout Australia's mindless, puritanical population.
Turnbull supports Joyce, then renounces Joyce and turns his back on the whole thing, trying not to get anyone offside, because he really does love being Prime Mangler. After all, it is his destiny, isn't it? Just ask him!
Shorten, with nothing better to do, picks up the cudgel and batters Joyce with it in a fit of righteous indignation, obviously never having had a lascivious thought in his life! Ask his wife.
As a septuagenarian, wise beyond my years, here is my advice to the three of them.
Mr Joyce, don't let the bastards grind you down. Your private life is just that. Private! Is has absolutely nothing to do with anyone except you and your families, new and previous. I'm sure that you will do your best for all concerned. Good luck.
Prime Mangler Turnbull. Mind your own f**king business and get on with fixing the problems facing this country. You have achieved your dream, now show that you are worthy of the position and stay out of other people's private lives.
Now for Shorten. Hey, you lowlife dips**t, stay out of this situation. What kind of filthy animal are you to use a media beat up on another man's private life for your own worthless political gain? Grow a pair and attack the Prime Mangler's policies, offering some well thought out policies (choking on my coffee, here) of your own..
That's it. Rant ended.
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