It pretty much came out of the blue. My lovely and sometimes crazy wife informed me that her(Vietnamese) nephew had just been granted a residence visa to live in Australia, five years after he originally applied. It's nice to see that our, well paid, public servants are on the ball!
In a nutshell he (Toni) will be staying with us until he can find work. He has a masters degree in IT and is waaaay smarter than the average bear, so the work thing shouldn't be too much of a problem. He just wants to get his own house so he can bring his lovely wife and young son to join him. I kind of hope that all happens before his baby son is of a marriageable age.
Ok, I admit if the Grinch was real, it would be me, so I'm possibly not the kindest individual in this sorry world. I also enjoy living with my wonderfully offbeat wife, by ourselves, with minimal outside influence.
You are probably imagining Toni to be a short, skinny, bespectacled, buck toothed, Asian nerd. The bugger is about 185cm, good looking, no specs, no buck teeth, well mannered and very intelligent. A perfect guest, right? BUT HE IS IN MY HOUSE!!
I can no longer walk around in my underpants, swear profanely, fart when I want, pick my nose or get shit faced drunk when I feel like it. I can't sleep naked with my bedroom door left open, nor can I get away with not showering for the three days that I have off from work, each week. I have to flush the toilet, not knock over glasses of wine at the dinner table and pretend to enjoy eating rice. As for having an enjoyable, noisy sex life with my wife, (Yes, old farts still enjoy an active love life) that seems to be coming a distant memory. All in all, the whole situation is a bloody disruption!
However, as I'm very much in love with the aforementioned crazy spouse, I will bite the bullet and try to act a little civilised. I promise to believe in Santa, the tooth fairy, kindness, gentility and forbearance.....until he leaves. Then all agreements are off.
I hope you all have a Christmas. Bah! Humbug!
Welcome to my blog, where you'll be able to expand your mind via my vast intellect. I will tackle all manner of oddities that I find in life and the media. I hope you enjoy your stay, as in Hotel California.
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