A magic Xmas

It was just one of those years. My lovely child bride had to go back to Vietnam for family reasons, leaving me alone for Xmas and New Year.

This may sound sad to many of you and in some ways it was. For five weeks I had to cook for myself, clean the house and water her ladyship's flowers and garden. In addition, I had to wash my clothes. I got quite inventive with that. I found that if I turned my under ware inside out, I could get two days out of them before washing. I was even more inventive with socks. I discovered that on day two I could put them on opposite feet to the previous day. Then, on day three I could turn them inside out, and on day four I could reverse the feet thing again. How good is that! Four days out of a pair of socks! Think of the water and washing powder I saved. I might tell my wife to keep doing that, so we can save money and go to MacDonalds once a year on the savings. Bloody genius!

As for cooking, I have become a connoisseur of $5 supermarket pizzas, $8 roast chickens and potato chips. Once again, I'm proud of the savings in food costs.

Now, as for Xmas. I saved money again. No decorations, no presents, no loud, boring friends and family. Absolutely perfect!

As you may have noticed, I made a fairly strong point about the savings.This was all to the good. Those wonderful savings allowed me spend Xmas with a rather copious supply of very good single malt Scotch whiskey, excellent Australian shiraz and ice cold Heineken beer. I used those to wash down a sumptuous Xmas dinner of pizza, ham and chicken while watching the new James Bond movie, Spectre. From what little I can remember, it wan't a bad movie.

Sadly, I had to work the next day. As I was grumpily going about my work with the worlds worst headache and eyes that resembled a pair of vultures arseholes in a power dive, I received zero sympathy from my co-workers. I was quite irked by this, until I realised the they were suffering too. I then thought to myself, "Who cares?", because there was no way they felt worse than me.

All in all, it was a wonderful Xmas. Thank God my wife will be here to rescue me next year.