It was reported by News.com, today, that a 42 year old American woman changed her name to Beautiful Existence, travelled to Paris and legally married herself.
Yep, it really happened. This made me think what it would be like to be married to myself.
Here's the good and bad of it. First of all, it appears that a weird name change would be in order. Something hippyish from the 60s and 70s. A few choices would be Fragrant Armpit, Silky Backhair, Unshaven Sweetcheeks and of course my favourite, Saggy Nads. However to do that would be a pain in the bum (how about Rosey Hemhorroid?), due to having to change all my personal details, bank accounts, licenses etc.
Life would be kind of boring because I'd always agree with myself and domestic violence would mean self flagellation. I really can't see myself caning my own butt because I agreed with myself too much.
I'm also not too sure about the sleeping arrangements. I can't imagine curling up at night with an overweight, hairy, unshaven me, complete with whiskey breath and flatulence. With that in mind, I've just made a mental note to buy some flowers for my lovely, long suffering wife for putting up with me.
Then there are all the things that I would get to share with myself. Little things such as all the cleaning, cooking, clothes washing, food shopping and taking the garbage out. Hang on. I already do most of that, anyway!
So, all in all, the whole exercise seems like a waste of time and energy. I'll just stay blissfully married to the missus.
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