Fortunately, I had my not so trusty camera at the ready, just to prove my claims which, without photographic evidence, would appear absurd.
At this time of the year, insects grow to enormous size and are quite bold and somewhat dangerous.This particularly applies to bees and cockroaches. A bee recently picked up my Labrador and flew away with her. You think I'm joking? Look below for photographic proof.
See, I told you so! I think the bee could also be trying to mate with her.
Would the offspring be called Labeeradores? Or possibly Labees?
Happily, she returned a few hours later, unharmed, and liberally coated in honey. Looking to take advantage of the situation, I scraped all the honey off the dog, heated it gently (the honey, that was), strained it through an old sock and bottled it. I now have enough honey to last a year. The downside is that it does have a faint smell of flea repellent and sweat
Easter is the time we can all enjoy Hot Cross Buns. Actually, we can enjoy them from mid January, because that's when the supermarkets start stocking them. Being a traditionalist, I wait until Easter. But I digress. This morning, I had just taken some buns out of the oven, when there was a knock at the front door. As I opened it, I was rudely shoved aside by the largest cockroach I have ever seen.
This huge insect ambled over to the kitchen table, hissed aggressively at me and proceeded to eat the Hot Cross Buns. Not content with the buns, the bloody thing ate the knife, the butter and the daffodils, before swaggering back outside and flying off.
For some strange reason, it didn't drink the coffee.
Probably because it was instant coffee, not percolated.
As I said, strange things happen in my home at this time of year. Happy Easter and don't answer knocks at the door!
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