G'day To My Russian Viewers And My Take On The Olympics

Just recently, I've received a large number of Russian viewers of this blog. I welcome you with a hearty привет.
I wish you all well and thank you for your interest. My best friend, as a child, was the son of Russian
immigrants to Australia, after WW2. We had some seriously wild adventures together as children.
Sadly, he died in his mid twenties. Vale Alex!

Now to the Olympics.
In my opinion, These are the worst Olympics ever. Under prepared, lousy accommodation, pool water turning green, athletes mutating after pool events and muggings, to name a few.

Despite all of that, the Rio Olympics Management Committee have decided to celebrate the these wildly successful (joking) Olympics with a small "in house" event to reward those responsible.
Those rewarded will include the organisers, the security, the hookers, drug dealers and the muggers.
The event will be a kind of  minor heptathlon (only 4 events). The events are as follows:-

The two kilometer ocean swim at Copacabana Beach. The winner will be the contestant whose body mutates the least, within thirty days of completing the swim.

The ten kilometer walk, dressed only in a grass skirt through Rio's poorest slums. The winner will be the first contestant who completes the walk without receiving life threatening injuries.

The four day live-in in the athletes village. The winner will be the person, with the least injuries, who survives without being beaten, raped, robbed, electrocuted or being jabbed with used needles.

The ten kilometer mini-marathon. This event will be run through the back streets of Rio and the contestants will wear a money belt stuffed with US dollars. The winner will be the fist person past the finish line. *Note. It not expected that there will be a winner.

Instead of gold medals, the winners will receive a gold painted glass tube containing an antidote for the Zika virus. This seems a little strange as, at this time, no such antidote exists. It is suspected that tap water from the athletes village will be used instead.